Spiders Are Worse Than Dogs (part1)

I almost died this morning. The previous sentence is in NO way an exaggeration of any sort. I quite literally heard Jesus say welcome home and had that moment when your entire life flashes before your eyes. (if you haven't ever had that moment it is kind of a disappointment as it only has your life in the past not what is in the future) What's even worse is that the majority of the time I had almost died I didn't even realize my life was in danger.

I woke up at 6:20 AM just like every other day. Nothing special about it other than the fact that my phone was going crazy vibrating from Twitter messages. After I read all my tweets I decided I had enough time to lay in bed and decide whether I truly needed a shower or not. If you know me at all then this should be the first sign to you that I was going to have an off morning. I am the kinda guy that will not miss a shower. Ever. While my mind was debating if I needed a shower or not, Mother was wondering why she did not hear the shower running now ten minutes after I woke up. Mother came in my room and made it very clear to me that whether I thought I needed a shower or not I would be getting one. So out of bed I crawled and into the bathroom.

Dogs, Mini Vans, and Emergency Rooms

As you will soon find out if you continue to read Life (Almost) Factual, I am a extremely clumsy person. Some people will read that last sentence and think it is the first of many exaggerations, but I, Indi, hereby swear to you that I truly am a genuinely clumsy person. To prove my point further, I will type the exact same sentence again to reiterate the severity of my clumsiness. As you will soon find out if you continue to read Life (Almost) Factual, I am a extremely clumsy person. My friends will ask me sometimes when my clumsiness truly began and to be honest I'm pretty sure it started while I was still in my mother's womb. Of course there is no way to know that for sure, but it is always possible right? One thing I do know, is that my clumsiness had already developed greatly by the time I had reached six years old. No amount of knee scraping could prepare me - or my mom - for that fateful day...