You Won Round One >:[ (Comment to help name the bug)

I caved. But there was really good reasons for it. Yes, I realize I am a failure. And for that I apologize. Especially since I only came up with this plan Sunday. That's not even a week. I'm still not even sure how it all went wrong. I had mathematician scientist formulas and everything. Yet it still went very, very wrong. 

Let me fill you in on the happenings since Sunday when I devised this plan to get back at the birds. Monday: I walked out to my car - more bird poop. And dirt.
Tuesday: Even more bird waste. And dirt. (it's ok, it's only been two days - they will tire of dirty bathrooms soon.)
Today: Someone comes up to me and tells me my car is covered in bird crap. They warn me that my paint will get eaten off if I don't take care of it. I am heart broken and forced to make a decision. After I walked to my car and realized that it was indeed covered in even more bird crap, I decided something had to be done.

My Plan to Get Rid of the Bird Poop...

So as most of you already know, birds think my car is pretty much the best bathroom ever. (for those of you that didn't know, click here) It has become an everyday occurrence for me to go out to my car and find it covered in bird feces. This is NOT a pleasant experience and almost always ends with me giving the birds the bird. Ok, don't really flip off the birds, I just thought it would be a really fun thing to say: "giving the birds the bird." Either way, it is not a happy time for me as I sit back and watch the birds laughing at me while I get into a crap-covered vehicle.

All this is about to change though. I have formulated a plan. It's all mathematical and scientific and such, just like a real mathematician/scientist would make. Seriously, I put lots of thought in this plan and went through the whole scientific process of observing and whatnot. I will walk you through my thought pattern of how I came to this plan before proceeding to tell you the plan.