One Night of Lawlessness: Abortion

Egypt: Crap man! ...You need to get out now. 

Me: I can't. There's someone else on this floor too. And they have lights turned on...

 (if this quote is unfamiliar to you, this post would make more sense if you went here and read this first)

So there I was in the dark. All alone.,,,

I didn't know what to do. Egypt was telling me to abort and run before I got caught, but I knew if I moved now that I would surely get caught. So I was almost positive the gig was up and I would not be walking during graduation. I had no idea what I could do. So I sat. And waited. Then that terrifying moment that you all expected to happen in part2 happened. Whoever was in the other room walked into the girl's bathroom and turned on the light. It was all over.

One Night of Lawlessness: Execution

Luckily for us, as our very last plan (or so we thought) failed, we were presented with one more chance to get into the building... (if this quote is unfamiliar to you, this post would make more sense if you went here and read this first)

Kindergarten Graduation. We have all done it. The small production followed by a little ceremony where you wear a mini cap-n-gown and they hand you a piece of rolled up copy paper. This seemingly unimportant event was exactly what we needed to pull off our prank of the century. Not only would attending such an event gain us access to the building, but it would also look very good on us to show up and "support" the graduating twirlers. (I'm not sure if anybody else in the world uses the word "twirlers" to refer to young children, but I think I heard my cousin use it one time and it has stuck ever since)

I consider this proof that the diploma is actually copy paper.

You Won Round One >:[ (Comment to help name the bug)

I caved. But there was really good reasons for it. Yes, I realize I am a failure. And for that I apologize. Especially since I only came up with this plan Sunday. That's not even a week. I'm still not even sure how it all went wrong. I had mathematician scientist formulas and everything. Yet it still went very, very wrong. 

Let me fill you in on the happenings since Sunday when I devised this plan to get back at the birds. Monday: I walked out to my car - more bird poop. And dirt.
Tuesday: Even more bird waste. And dirt. (it's ok, it's only been two days - they will tire of dirty bathrooms soon.)
Today: Someone comes up to me and tells me my car is covered in bird crap. They warn me that my paint will get eaten off if I don't take care of it. I am heart broken and forced to make a decision. After I walked to my car and realized that it was indeed covered in even more bird crap, I decided something had to be done.

My Plan to Get Rid of the Bird Poop...

So as most of you already know, birds think my car is pretty much the best bathroom ever. (for those of you that didn't know, click here) It has become an everyday occurrence for me to go out to my car and find it covered in bird feces. This is NOT a pleasant experience and almost always ends with me giving the birds the bird. Ok, don't really flip off the birds, I just thought it would be a really fun thing to say: "giving the birds the bird." Either way, it is not a happy time for me as I sit back and watch the birds laughing at me while I get into a crap-covered vehicle.

All this is about to change though. I have formulated a plan. It's all mathematical and scientific and such, just like a real mathematician/scientist would make. Seriously, I put lots of thought in this plan and went through the whole scientific process of observing and whatnot. I will walk you through my thought pattern of how I came to this plan before proceeding to tell you the plan.