You Won Round One >:[ (Comment to help name the bug)

I caved. But there was really good reasons for it. Yes, I realize I am a failure. And for that I apologize. Especially since I only came up with this plan Sunday. That's not even a week. I'm still not even sure how it all went wrong. I had mathematician scientist formulas and everything. Yet it still went very, very wrong. 

Let me fill you in on the happenings since Sunday when I devised this plan to get back at the birds. Monday: I walked out to my car - more bird poop. And dirt.
Tuesday: Even more bird waste. And dirt. (it's ok, it's only been two days - they will tire of dirty bathrooms soon.)
Today: Someone comes up to me and tells me my car is covered in bird crap. They warn me that my paint will get eaten off if I don't take care of it. I am heart broken and forced to make a decision. After I walked to my car and realized that it was indeed covered in even more bird crap, I decided something had to be done.

How I Almost Scared the New Girl Away By Dying

At the beginning of my senior year in high school, we got a new student that we will call KD. KD was a very sweet and attractive girl from the very first time I met her. Some could say that we became great friends right from the start. Others could say that she tried to kill me....

One of the reasons that KD became such an awesome friend is that I learned she purposefully carried around a HUGE purse for the use of smuggling food. It was not uncommon for us to be sitting in first period and her pass back a pop tart for breakfast, or a candy bar as a snack during third period, on occasion even a peanut butter and jelly sandwich during seventh to tie me over until supper. I definitely had struck gold by making KD a friend.

(left to right) Shorts, KD, Fish, and I at a bonfire together..
Doesn't KD look like a killer? So does Fish, but I don't think she is...