One Night of Lawlessness: Abortion

Egypt: Crap man! ...You need to get out now. 

Me: I can't. There's someone else on this floor too. And they have lights turned on...

 (if this quote is unfamiliar to you, this post would make more sense if you went here and read this first)

So there I was in the dark. All alone.,,,

I didn't know what to do. Egypt was telling me to abort and run before I got caught, but I knew if I moved now that I would surely get caught. So I was almost positive the gig was up and I would not be walking during graduation. I had no idea what I could do. So I sat. And waited. Then that terrifying moment that you all expected to happen in part2 happened. Whoever was in the other room walked into the girl's bathroom and turned on the light. It was all over.

One Night of Lawlessness: Execution

Luckily for us, as our very last plan (or so we thought) failed, we were presented with one more chance to get into the building... (if this quote is unfamiliar to you, this post would make more sense if you went here and read this first)

Kindergarten Graduation. We have all done it. The small production followed by a little ceremony where you wear a mini cap-n-gown and they hand you a piece of rolled up copy paper. This seemingly unimportant event was exactly what we needed to pull off our prank of the century. Not only would attending such an event gain us access to the building, but it would also look very good on us to show up and "support" the graduating twirlers. (I'm not sure if anybody else in the world uses the word "twirlers" to refer to young children, but I think I heard my cousin use it one time and it has stuck ever since)

I consider this proof that the diploma is actually copy paper.

One Night of Lawlessness: Planning

Senior Year. If you know anything about me at all, then you probably know that senior year in high school was the worst year of my life. (thus far) I have elected to write three posts, however, that record the happenings of one good night senior year. One Night of Lawlessness.

This night actually started my sophomore year in high school. I know that sentence makes about as much sense as somebody saying that Britney Spears can't sing but we will leave it because I am about to explain. Patience my young grasshopper. So my sophomore year in high school was Sister's senior year. Sister's class was the very first class at our high school to pull a senior prank. And it was a good one. What they did was fill the halls in our high school with cups full of water. So they were lined wall to wall with water-filled cups down the entire hall. If one desired to walk through the hall they would have to individually move and dump each cup. Did I mention the cups also blocked the path to the bathrooms?

You clever, clever people...

Spiders Just Suck

So last night was pretty much the worst night I've had in....well forever. As many of you might already know I stayed up pretty late finishing a post about Krampus. And even later having a discussion in the comments section with...a...um...Krampus.... Anyway, when I finally did get to bed it didn't last long.

I seriously hadn't even laid my head down for two minutes when I felt something fall onto my pillow beside me. I bolted up and turned on my bedside light when I saw a ninja spider. That's right. They have finally found me and are sending troops and ninjas after me. I didn't know what to do. I froze. My eyes were searching for any option of escape. I found a tissue and my Dr. Pepper bank. I quickly grabbed my Dr. Pepper bank and chased the ninja all over my bed before finally dropping it on top of him.

St. Krampus in St. Louis (This Post is Scary)

So, let me preface this with saying that Krampus is anything but a saint.. BUT, my balanced writing was rather exceptional you must admit. Also I have to say that coming from a family who celebrated Christmas on Memorial Day weekend every year until I was in middle school, I find it perfectly acceptable to write a Halloween themed post the week before Independence Day.

It was Christmas break, sophomore year. I don't remember what the occasion was but I remember that I was in downtown St. Louis with a large group of people staying in a hotel reminiscent of the movie 1408. While I don't remember what I was in St. Louis for, I will never forget why six hundred and something "freaks and creeps" were. The weekend that our trip was scheduled fell on the exact same weekend as a Halloween festival. (yeah, I don't know why the Halloween festival thing was scheduled in the middle of December. Kind of random)

^^ Scary ^^

...This Disturbs Me.(UPDATED)

Do I seriously need to write any more than what the title of this post says?! Or can you figure it out yourself? I mean I am slightly grossed out that it would be searched in the first place, but absolutely APPALLED that Google would lead this person to my blog and they would click on it!!

Also, might I point out that it is slightly in appropriate to refer to a cartoon character in that way?

OH! And don't even get me started on the search about SpongeBob!

UPDATE**

As it turns out, if you search that, I am the very last result on the first page.
I am giving everybody a challenge! I WANT TO BE NUMBER ONE!!!!
Google search "spongebob squarepants thong underwear for men" and follow
the link to my blog repeatedly and let's watch it move up the line! Together, we
can take over the internet!!!!! WE ARE SPARTA!!!!!!!

Stomach: NOM NOM!!

So, I'm sitting by a hospital bed as I write this, (don't worry, all is well. Mother simply had a small surgery) and I haven't eaten anything since lunch. For lunch I had an Uncrustable. It was decent but not satisfactory. And I am starving. I know that most of you are reading this and saying "No you aren't. Little kids in Africa are starving!" Not to minimize the seriousness of world hunger, but: