I Felt Up a Old Lady's Bark

I found this post in my "drafts" folder. I started it a month or so ago and for some reason never finished it. Because Granny is on her death bed right now, I figured it would be a good time to go ahead and finish it, and publish it in honor of her and her life. I love you Granny and cannot wait to be able to be with you again - this time for eternity. I will always remember the last words you said to me: "I love you, can't wait to see you in heaven." Also, the title is in NO way referring to my grandmother, or any other person for that matter..You will have to read the post for it to make sense.
Much Love! -Indi 

(A few years old but I love this picture)

Arch Nemesis Has A Inside Man!

You will appreciate this post a great deal more if you first click here and read the first part in this saga. 
Much Love! -Indi 

Tone of this post: FREAKED BEYOND BELIEF!!!!! and this post doesn't even have anything to do with spiders, clowns, or Ke$ha! (ok, it might have something to do with clowns but not directly!)

This morning was my first back home without Auntie Nemesis around. I should be safe for a while right? WRONG!!! I let my guard down for a split second and almost died! Obviously Auntie deserves much more credit than she has been given.

My First Super Fan Is Both Family And My Arch Nemesis

So here is the deal, There is never anything more exciting than learning that you have an avid follower. Even if it is somebody that is related to you. So I was extremely excited when I learned that my Aunt was a dedicated reader of L(A)F. Not only is she a dedicated reader, but she has suggested multiple posts to people that she thinks would enjoy reading them. For instance, after reading Whale Tails and Credit Cards, she called her boss and left a voicemail describing how it would be a wonderful slogan for VISA to "Swipe the crack - Get a dollar back!"

Swipe the Crack - Get a Dollar Back!!
(it totally works)

Spiders Are Worse Than Dogs (part2)

Ok, I realize it has been forever since I wrote the first part to this post but I was waiting for the inspiration to write the next part. Today, I got that inspiration. Shockingly, it came not from a close encounter of mine with a death-dealing spider. In fact, I never have had any personal experiences with the spider of this post. So to be honest, I am writing this post on BIL's behalf. I am giving a voice to guy without a voice.

What I Have in Common With Ke$ha

So I am writing a series of three posts right now that I hope to be REALLY good. If they aren't, then I expect you all to lie to me and tell me they are amazing anyway. So the "series" is coming along kind of slowly unfortunately. It's not that I have hit a writer's block, I'm just trying really hard to word them in the best possible way. An unfortunate side effect: I've been working on the first for three days and it's still nowhere near being done. Realizing that I am starting to fall behind on blogging, I decided that I must write another post to explain myself.

But, because I don't want this to be a boring post, I also have decided to include the one thing that Ke$ha and I have in common. (no, it isn't that we poop glitter - they have still yet to prove that she in fact can actually do that. Score one team Indi) Before I tell you what this strange characteristic is that we share, I must first tell you a story. And yes, it does pertain to the point so just bare with me.

See, she simply blows glitter all up in the air making it impossible for
people to breathe... Thanks Ke$ha for contributing to Asthma. 

Bucket List

A Note From Indi:
Hey guys, it's been a really busy week so sorry for the drought in posts. And I'm even more sorry for the drought in quality. I promise to try to do better. Because my brain is on overload right now, I decided that this post would be the absolute best post to write. With me writing this post I know that it will be really hard to cheat you of anything because there won't be a whole lot of meat to it anyway, and I will have posted something that is hopefully kinda fun. So here you go!! Much Love! -Indi :) 


Death. Interesting concept. It's one of two events that occur in every single person's life on this planet. If you don't believe me, then just wait until it is your turn. Anyway, death has been on my mind a lot lately. Not because I have had any deep spiritual thought or revelation about it recently, but simply because it is everywhere. (Also, Death is a pretty cool dude. If you don't believe me, you should totally read "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak)

How I Got Drugged...Again

So here's the deal, I figured it has been way too long since the last "Indi accidentally got drugged up and chaos ensued" story. So I sat down, interviewed some friends to get my facts as straight as Vin Diesel, and now am writing to you as closely as possible the events of my inability to handle medications.

He approves this post.

So Guess What!!!!

Did you guess?? Chances are probably not, because I didn't hear a single guess since I typed that title. And if you did guess, then did you really guess or did you just say "What?" I have a feeling that next to no body gave a legitimate guess to the question. Which is ok. Because that proves my point for this entire late-night [early-morning] post! So I applaud you unresponsive reader!

Go on! Guess!

Tampon Flowers

If you would have told me that I would end up writing a post that is titled using the word tampon, I would have never started a blog. In fact, I probably would have thrown my MacBook in the pond. These are actually really crazy solutions for me because without my MacBook, I would find it very hard to live. So it would almost be like drowning myself in the pond. It's not that I am scared of feminine products, or even extremely grossed out by them, it's simply that tampons aren't exactly a very interesting thing to write about.. It almost feels like I've taken ten steps backwards in the writing progression.

WOW...Embarrassing

I didn't plan to write this post, but after watching one too many of the commercials, I didn't have a choice. There is a local car salesman who is for lack of a better word...a doofus. I will link two videos to you below and let you decide for yourself....

Dear Mother... Why??

Dear Mother,

It's YOUR day! I am taking this day to thank you privately in a public way. So even though many other people may read this, I want you to know that I am addressing you and you alone. You see, I don't always tell you this, but I truly do love you and appreciate you beyond belief. And even though I do want to recognize all the many tangible things that you do for me on a daily (and sometimes minutely) basis such as laundry, cooking, and killing spiders; that is not what I really want this post to be about. Instead, I want to thank you for us.

Normal People Must Stand.

So as I was walking out to my car yesterday I noticed three things very unusual.

1. There is a cute little courtyard just off of Court Square that is complete with a gazebo. (courtyard off the Court Square. LOL I crack me up)
2. In this courtyard, there are multiple sets of benches. Each a set of two sitting right beside each other.
3. In each set, one bench is really short and the other is freakishly tall. 

Ink and Sock Tops

As I have mentioned before, Father is the kind of guy who likes to be in charge of things. Whether it be my plans on a Tuesday night, or what color Mother decides to paint her nails, he enjoys being a part of the decision. So you can imagine how upset he was when I came home with a brand new tattoo five months before my eighteenth birthday.

Ok, so in retrospect, I should have at least talked to my parents before getting it, if not waiting until I turned eighteen, but also in retrospect, I do not regret getting it for one second. (if you know me personally, you know the story behind why I do not regret it. If you do not, and REALLY want to know, then feel free to send me an email at lifealmostfactual@gmail.com and I will write you an answer. I don't feel it is the right setting to address such a serious matter in the main body of a post)

Look! It's my tat! If you don't know what it is, it's too hard to
try and explain...

All Hail Chairman Mao

So I was going to write this awesome post about The Game of Mao, but then I realized that would be considered discussing rules...And I don't want a whole bunch of extra cards...So instead, this is what you get...

End P of O

I Hate Applebee's (part1)

Up until I typed the name for this post, I thought Applebee's was spelt Applebea's. So there is a start to show you how much I dislike this place. I decided that I would start with the most intense of the reasons for my strong dislike of Applebee's instead of going chronologically because I can. (oh, and part of this post is rather serious, so if you don't want to read it, then click here to laugh at my clumsiness)

A few years ago, I met a girl at a summer camp. We didn't talk to each other more than twice at this camp and I think only one of those times were an actual conversation. (sounds like the start to a great friendship doesn't it?) Even though we barely talked to each other at all during the camp experience, I ended up getting her contact information. Mainly because it was polite and everybody was swapping digits.

This picture has NOTHING to do with this post,  however,
I found it and its hilarious because French is falling out of bed
so I stole it and here it is...

This Post is Morbid

So, I'm not saying that I do this type of thing all the time. In fact, I have only done this once. And only tried to do it again once since then. But we will get there in a minute. This all started because of Moss though. Like seriously, I promise it's all her fault. If her family didn't own a funeral home then none of this would have ever happened...

Toothbrush Diaries

I will be honest with you, when I first thought of this idea for a post, I thought it was the best idea ever...but now, I'm not so sure. I mean if a freakin bird is flying through a library, then a post about how much I love my toothbrushes just doesn't seem to compare. But, I promised you a post about toothbrushes, so here it is.

Say "hello" to my beautiful, orange toothbrush!

Sometimes I find myself having very strong feelings for inanimate objects. Ok, very strong feelings is a bit of an understatement. I almost would go as far as saying I fall in love with them on occasion... I can't help it though! I don't know why it is, it just happens. Part of me thinks it may have something to do with the fact that I don't have a pet. (Mother if you are reading this, that is code for you should totally buy a dog for whenever I am home...or a wallaby)

AHHHH!!!!! EXCITEMENT!

So I have a really amazing post that I plan on writing very soon about a toothbrush love affair. In fact I had planned on writing it yesterday until something crazy happened. And that is what I am about to tell you all about. But just know, the toothbrush will come soon!

Yesterday I had the privilege of tutoring a very nice guy in the subject of math. He is a fourth grader and is having a little trouble memorizing the divisibility rules. As we were going over the divisibility rule for 9's, (add the digits in the number and if the sum is divisible by 9 then the original number will be divisible by 9) I heard a flutter and something went right over my head. I looked up, and nothing was there. (now I realize that this makes sense because I felt it zoom over my head so of course it would be gone by the time I looked up)

Martin Fierro Is a Rather Nice Guy

Have you ever found yourself in a really uncomfortable situation? Like walking into a really fancy restaurant dressed in a tee shirt and not having enough cash to pay for an appetizer? I have. In fact, some would say I have found myself in that exact situation.

A while ago, my friend Shorts and her long-time boyfriend broke up. She went through a slight phase where she was slightly depressed. This could not last. If you know Shorts at all, she is very peppy, very giddy, and just an all around fun girl. So when she is upset, it is not fun.

Shorts and I. This time we decided to eat inside our budget and chose BK...
And my lips look retarded...Crap. That's offensive isn't it? Let's try that again:
And my lips look retarded. (does drawing a line through it make it appropriate?)