One Night of Lawlessness: Abortion

Egypt: Crap man! ...You need to get out now. 

Me: I can't. There's someone else on this floor too. And they have lights turned on...

 (if this quote is unfamiliar to you, this post would make more sense if you went here and read this first)

So there I was in the dark. All alone.,,,

I didn't know what to do. Egypt was telling me to abort and run before I got caught, but I knew if I moved now that I would surely get caught. So I was almost positive the gig was up and I would not be walking during graduation. I had no idea what I could do. So I sat. And waited. Then that terrifying moment that you all expected to happen in part2 happened. Whoever was in the other room walked into the girl's bathroom and turned on the light. It was all over.



I stopped breathing to make sure I didn't create any unneeded noise. Maybe just maybe if I didn't move I wouldn't get caught. Whoever it was walked over to a stall and sat down to use the bathroom. I had two options. I could try to get out then, or I could shrink as far as I could into the corner in hopes she wouldn't notice me. Right when I decided I would start to make my move....

flush

I changed my mind and stayed still. Here it came. The moment of truth. It was at this moment I learned something about this unknown person. They don't wash their hands. I was disgusted. It is never ok to use the bathroom - or even go into the bathroom - without washing your hands before you leave. It is simply hygienic.

See what difference can be made between a washed and not washed hand??

No matter how gross it may be, I have to be thankful for this however. If it weren't for her lack of sanitary care, I would probably have been expelled three days before graduation. She turned the lights off as she left leaving me in utter darkness. I decided I should text Egypt:

Me: Hey, I almost just got caught. I think I'm almost in the clear to leave though. Am I still good on the main level?

Egypt: Yea man. Just text when you're on your way so we can get you. Monterey Jack is on the far side of the building. 

Me: K...

 The door to the stairwell (such a weird word) slammed and I realized this might be my only chance. I slid out from underneath the sink and slinked across the bathroom to the door. I cracked it open and saw that the light to the storage room was still on. With no other signs of danger I slid through the door and into the hallway running as gingerly as I could to the furthest set of stairs. (they went directly to the door that I would be meeting Egypt, Accomplice4 and Yosef at)

I was about halfway down the stairs when I slipped and fell. I'm not sure how loud the thud was from falling almost a whole flight of stairs but I knew a couple things that did not make me happy.

1. I just fell down approximately seven steps and my butt was throbbing.
2. I may or may not have just alerted everybody in the building of my whereabouts.
3. I probably would not have fallen had I not forgotten my shoes in the girl's bathroom.

Now would be an EXCELLENT time to point out that all the illustrations you
see in this post were not drawn by me. They instead were drawn by Tom.
I feel he captures my essence more than I ever have...

Does anybody else see how this could become problematic? Of course I could go on living without that pair of shoes. In fact I don't think I really liked them anyway. The issue arrises when one stops to consider how a female would feel after finding a pair of size 13 men's Chuck's in the bathroom... Now we are on the same page. I had no option but to jump up and run back to the bathroom to get my shoes. Because I was pretty positive that I had already alerted everybody in the building of my intrusion, I didn't take near as much care when returning for my shoes. While I tried to stay semi quiet I didn't worry if I accidentally ran straight into a locker....which totally didn't happen I swear.

I finally got to the bathroom and retrieved my shoes before slipping back into the hallway to make a mad dash toward the exit. I decided about halfway that I was cooler than James Bond and Josie and the Pussycats mixed together. I was an uber-spy. I needed to use a little more stealth...I started sliding across the walls instead of just running. I got to the stairs and jumped over the railing landing on the main level. I walked nonchalantly out the front door and into the parking lot waiting for Egypt to show up with his beautiful car.....but he wasn't there.

Notice that the mixture of the two (me) is winking.
It's because you're beautiful. If you don't believe me then click here.

Crap! I forgot to text Egypt that I was on my way out! 

I turned around and looked at the school building. I watched as the light to the stairs got turned on....

Continue on to Part 4: Aftermath

Illustrations credited to Tom