Friday, May 25, 2012

Spiders Are Worse Than Dogs (part2)

Ok, I realize it has been forever since I wrote the first part to this post but I was waiting for the inspiration to write the next part. Today, I got that inspiration. Shockingly, it came not from a close encounter of mine with a death-dealing spider. In fact, I never have had any personal experiences with the spider of this post. So to be honest, I am writing this post on BIL's behalf. I am giving a voice to guy without a voice.




This morning while at a museum with Sister and BIL, I noticed something odd. BIL had something on the back of his neck. At first I wrote it off as a large zit, but as my eyes lingered, I realized it was anything but. Slightly appalled, I asked BIL, "What is that nasty thing on your neck?" Judging by the title of this post I am sure you can guess what his answer was. "Ummm, I think it's probably a spider bite. Looks gross doesn't it?"
Look!!! A spider bite!!

If I was appalled before learning it was a spider bite, imagine my disgust after. My biggest fear in life took it upon its species to attack someone close to me and infect BIL. This set a couple of thought trains barreling through my head.

Option 1: BIL has been bitten by a mutant spider and will now posses characteristics similar to a spider that will lead to his eventual fame as a masked crime stopper named Spiderman.

Option 2: BIL has been bitten by a decomposition spider that will cause him to slowly rot starting at the point of origin and spreading throughout his body until we replace over 90% of his body with mechanical parts like a robot.

Option 3: BIL has been bitten by a regular killing spider and will die.

Unfortunately Option 3 looks to be the most likely. It was nice knowing you BIL.

This is BIL before we knew he was going to die. 


P.S. Just a word to all the spiders out there reading this post that think you have won, you haven't. If anything you just kicked the dial up a few notches on the severity of our war. 

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