This Post is Morbid

So, I'm not saying that I do this type of thing all the time. In fact, I have only done this once. And only tried to do it again once since then. But we will get there in a minute. This all started because of Moss though. Like seriously, I promise it's all her fault. If her family didn't own a funeral home then none of this would have ever happened...

As I mentioned before the jump, Moss's family owns a funeral home. Actually, they do more than that. They own many funeral homes, and they have two crematories in their back yard. (creepy right? What's even creepier is that one isn't even for humans. It's a dog crematory) So it all started the very first time that I went to Moss's house. She gave me a tour of the grounds and almost failed to take me to the ominous red barn. But I wasn't about to let that happen!

After some prodding she led me into the barn. I was pleasantly appalled at what I saw. Not only was there a crematory, but there was a body freezer. I'm pretty sure it counts as THE single most exciting thing I have witnessed unexpectedly. However this is all that happened on my first trip to Moss's. The most exciting element of this story didn't happen until more than a year later.

A group of friends were all over at Moss's house swimming and a few asked what was in the big red barn. I had an answer. I could tell you what happened next...but I feel it would be more effective to simply show you...

Rather cold actually...

That's right. I laid in the body freezer. The very place that dead people lay as they await being burnt to nothing more than ash. And it was AWESOME!!!! I know I sound like a complete and total freak right now. But it is true. You should try it as it is an adrenaline rush that you don't get the chance to fulfill often.  

After I had tried laying in the body freezer once, I could not help but want to do it again. I craved it. The very next time I visited Moss, we went back to the body freezer. I opened it up and stepped inside. There was something different this time. A problem. As I looked at the shelf I once laid on, I could only assume that the object laying under the sheet was indeed a cadaver. (I also learned based on the shape that I put my head at the wrong end when I did it) One glance from Moss confirmed it. I can now say I have shared a bed with the deceased. 

So that you all can feel comfortable reading my blog again, I haven't had these strange urges once since I ran into the dead guy. It became a bit of a turn-off when I realized that dead things truly do lay there. In fact it kind of is disgusting... So until I find a way to lay on the cremation table, my morbid fascinations will have to cease.