How Much Chocolate Equals True Love?

Have you ever wondered around Valentine's Day exactly how much chocolate really equals true love? I am here to tell you that I know someone who can answer that question. Or she can at least tell you when you have not bought enough.

This past February I had the wonderful opportunity to return to the beautiful country of Poland. I know most people who know anything about climate and geography are wondering "Why in the world would you go there in the middle of winter??" Well, that is a very good question that is irrelevant to this post and will be answered in another post for another day. In the meantime just know it was very cold.



We were nearing the end of our trip and the entire time we were gone Pastor kept saying that he had to get some real Polish chocolate for his wife. Out of all the things she could have from the wonderful country what she really wanted was chocolate. (I would have chosen a pretty amber necklace myself) Either way we had one night left and Pastor still had not bought his wife her chocolate. This is a problem. With only about twenty minutes to spare, Guide led us to a store where he could buy her as much (or little) chocolate of whatever kind he wanted.

We found the chocolate aisle and were surprised at the amounts of chocolate that could be amassed in one location. Any kind of chocolate you could ever want was crammed into this one aisle. I found types of chocolate I didn't even know existed. Our only problem is Pastor was looking for regular milk chocolate. No nuts, no caramel, no cremes, just pure milk chocolate. When in an aisle full of different kinds of delicious chocolate, it can become nearly impossible to find any particular kind, but it is even more so when looking for the most boring of all kinds of chocolate.

After using about half the time we had to search for this chocolate, we finally found boring, plain milk chocolate with nothing added. Guide was the first to locate this rare chocolate and call the rest of us over. As we were all reaching her, she had already pulled massive amounts of chocolate off the shelf and was ready to hand it all to Pastor. After Pastor relieved her of the massive amounts of chocolate, Guide decided it was not quite enough and started piling on more. And more. Eventually Pastor couldn't hold it anymore and started dropping the chocolates one by one. Of course, this was a sign that Pastor was holding too much chocolate so he started putting it back onto the shelf until he was left with three pieces of chocolate for his wife.

Guide was not happy with this. She could not believe that Pastor was so pig headed. It was not long at all before she let him know this.

Guide: Really Pastor? Really?  Your wife is only worth three pieces of chocolate to you?

Pastor: No, I would buy her the entire aisle full if she wanted it and the airplane would let me bring it home.

Guide: You should love your wife enough to buy her the entire store without her wanting it!

Pastor was partially convinced so he doubled the amount of chocolate in his hands.

Guide:  Really Pastor? Really?  Your wife is only worth six pieces of chocolate to you? You should be ashamed of such a measly gift for the love of your life!

This same general conversation continued until the scene looked like this:

Notice that he has many more pieces of chocolate than the original three.

On the way to the check out, Guide picked up one more piece of chocolate. This particular piece happened to have peppers in it. She turned to Pastor and made a very convincing argument that the chocolate would be the most interesting chocolate in the store and that he should buy it for himself. He hesitated and then conceded and we proceeded to pay for our merchandise.

After we bought the chocolate, we were expected to attend a large supper that was being held as it was our last night in Warsaw. Because it was not necessarily appropriate to bring armfuls of chocolate into this dinner, Pastor had to ask Guide to hold onto it. 

Guide: Really?? Not only do you not love your wife enough to bring her home a decent gift, but you also are giving the pathetic gift you did buy her to another woman?! I will take it if you must give it to me but do not be surprised when she becomes upset. If you were my husband you would have two options when I found out. You could sleep in the streets or with the dog! Oh! By the way, chocolate with pepper is the nastiest chocolate you will taste in your life. Way to waste money.