I'm Nearly Bilingual

On my last trip to the beautiful country of Poland (or Polska if you will) I made a conscious effort to learn as much Polish (Polski) as I could. My mindset was that if I could learn a generous sized chunk of the language while I was in the country, maybe, just maybe I would be seen as more than just a stupid, American tourist. 

I expressed this concern to a couple of my Polish friends and they accepted the challenge of helping me learn as much as possible in the very short time I would be with them. With little time to waste, we started immediately. I must say that they were excellent teachers as I still remember almost everything that they taught me. They were also very rigorous teachers. Any time we were to go out to eat, the responsibility of ordering my own meal would fall on me. If I ordered wrong, then I hope I like mystery meat! 

In all seriousness though, Ola and Lukas were excellent teachers. Even when I wasn't expecting it, they were turning everyday experiences into learning opportunities. For instance, one night we were all sitting around watching YouTube videos, (if you want to know what we were watching, click here) and Ola turned and said something to me. I cannot remember what she said to me. I've tried so hard to remember but cannot, either way the important part was what came next. I answered with "Gotcha." This immediately sent Ola into a hysterical laughing fit. The next few moments were spent with me trying to get Ola to stop laughing long enough to tell me what was so funny. Instead, she turned to Lukas and said something in Polish the last word being "gotcha." Immediately after she finished talking, she returned to her fit, this time bringing Lukas with her. 

Look everyone! It's my teachers! (Ola is the girl and Lukas is the boy)

I was not amused. After about ten minutes of nonstop laughter, Ola informed while catching her breath that "gotcha" in Polish is the word for panties. She also informed me that this had better not become a word that I practiced too often. 

One more picture of Lukas, Me, and Ola before I transition a bit. Oh,
and pay no attention to the fact that I look like crap in this picture. I
didn't take wonderful care of hair when I knew it would just get messed
up by a sock toboggan. 

One of my biggest accomplishment was that Lukas taught me a whole phrase that actually came in handy while at the airport on the way home. 

Because it was the middle of February, and I was not used to negative degree weather, by the end of our trip, I was suffering from a bit of a cold. Nothing major, just enough to ask the very cute female sitting beside me if I could have a tissue. I pantomimed my best to ask her for a tissue before she turned to me, smiled, and said "I speak English." I was slightly embarrassed and very elated. The very kind girl dug through her purse and found a tissue for me to use. I thanked her (in Polish to show I was making an effort) and blew my nose.

LOL! This is what comes up when you Google Image search tissues.

It was not long before she tapped me on the shoulder. I was in shock that she would be interested in continuing to talk to me so I turned to her, "Yes?" Her answer was not quite what I expected, "You look like you still could use some more tissues." How embarrassing, I took the tissues and proceeded to wipe quite a large amount of snot from my upper lip that I had no idea was resting there. 

This is closer to what she actually had. 

Luckily for me, the female traveler was very kind and continued to talk to me. Mostly the usual small talk between airport patrons, that is until she asked me a very interesting question. 

Traveler: So you were speaking Polish earlier, what is the hardest thing you learned? 

Me: Well, since you asked, Jestem Amerykaninem, kocham cię i chcę cię pocałować

This resulted in Traveler's immediate bursting into laughter. I was pleased. (for those of you who just Google Translate 'd what I said, you are such cheaters!) She told me that it was an essential phrase for all new Polish speaking people to learn, that I had excellent pronunciation, and that if it weren't for the snot running down my lip it would be a possibility. Once again embarrassed I grabbed a tissue. Our conversation continued and ended as we were getting on the plane to her telling me that the next time I was in Krakow I should look her up and we would have dinner. An excellent plan except I never got her last name.....

For those of you who don't know and are still curious, here is a link to find out what I told Traveler. 

OH!!! And I almost forgot! Traveler was so nice that she gave me the remainder of her pack of tissues. Thanks Traveler!!!!